Mover & Groover Since Day One.

As a Leo, we are known for our outgoing and confident nature. Well, I did not fail in that department. Mini me was a lot. A lot. You only have to ask any member of my family how they remember me as a child and I guarantee the words ‘put on a show’ would come out.

I wanted to be right there, centre stage, singing and dancing, creating a whole load of noise and trying to force my younger brother into a costume. “Passionate,” Dad would say. I really didn't give two shits about what I was doing and who I was doing it in front of. A free spirit…a nightmare… but a ball of energy. 

It's funny because I don't really know when things started to change? 

At the age of 8, my parents picked me and my brother up and took us from sunny England all the way down to Australia. It was just us. All we had now was each other and a (very big) land of new opportunity. We moved a lot. We met a lot of new people. We travelled to our own backyard and ventured abroad. 

Things changed dramatically. Life was different… duh.

But if there's one thing that's kinda swept under the rug is that being a teenager is hard. The things people say, the way people act and the rhetorics that we hear, are important. 

We are impressionable. We listen and we learn. And thus, we change.

So somewhere in the midst of so many amazing opportunities and experiences, I started to change. I started to worry about what others thought of me. I started to worry about what I looked like. I started to fear making the wrong decision. I started to lose my sparkle. 

During my degree, I studied gendered politics and the intersectionality of patriarchy, globalisation and media. From the gender pay gap, to women's health, to photoshopping, to equal rights - I was in deep. 

All thanks to the power of technology, capitalism, and marketing, many trends and fads began to change our social nature as humans. One being the diet industry. From juice cleanses, keto diets, sugar free challenges and new years exercise resolutions. It's safe to say most households had their go at a ‘health kick’. Ours was not exempt.

I am not about to blame the world for my own personal journey. But it is important to acknowledge that most people have seen, witnessed or experienced the pressures of destructive comments and unattainable expectations provided by diet culture. 

We are an active household. My parents like to run, my grandparents raised us on the tennis court, football (or soccer as I know it) was the boys bond and we loved to be by the water. We are educated. We know what nutritious food is and the benefits of daily physical activity. We know that mental and physical health is important. We value a ‘healthy lifestyle’. But why do we still punish ourselves for indulging in a little extra cake? Or throw shame at the size of our bellies because it doesn't have 6 little lines on it? A constant competition to shape and tone rather than fuel and satisfy. 

It's not until now, sitting here today, that I've started to process the things I used to hear and believe to be true. 

We all have our triggers and certain sayings that we probably don't even realise we say. But words matter. They matter a lot. And when you’re trapped inside of a continual closed circuit of mass media, being fed that the way we are and the things we’re doing are not enough, we start to believe it. For years, we have been told that we must look a certain way in order to be accepted into the ‘attractive’ bracket of society. A superior class of super-humans with powers of salad making and eternal strength. 

These are just a few of the phrases I used to believe;

• Boys only like girls with big boobs, big bums and a thigh gap 

• Small waist and big bums are hot 

• Bingo wings are unattractive 

• Bread, rice and pasta (i.e. carbs) must be used or they will make you fat 

• Smaller clothes look nicer 

• Its naughty to have something sweet after every meal 

• I can ‘treat myself’ to chocolate or sweets because I exercised today 

• Anything goes on a cheat day

The list goes on.

Fuck this. 

(Excuse my profanity)
But it seemed that; 

• Exercise was a form of punishment to ‘work off’ and ‘burn’ ‘bad’ foods.

• Exercise was the way to look fit, toned, slim and therefore sexy and desirable. 

• Exercise was only for those who were outgoing and popular and anyone who was outside of that was judged for their athletic performance

Ask 13 year old Eve to go for a run, play a game of tennis, partake in swimming sports or kick a football, the answer was always no. I crippled and cringed at the idea of exercise. Team sports was a big no no and the idea of going for a run impaired me physically. Phew, mentally exhausting. 

Exercise felt like my biggest enemy. I had become so consumed by expectations of what I thought it meant to exercise and how it was perceived to others that I had become my biggest competitor.

I was looking at it all wrong.
The thing is I did like to exercise. I just didn't realise it because it wasn't considered ‘a real sport’

I could dance for hours. Music and movement ran through me. I find a different kind of adrenaline from moving my body to the rhythm of an absolute tune. Little Eve knew what she was doing dressed in a sparkly pink dress, dancing to her So Fresh CD. 

But before we get all the old tapes out, and just when you thought we were done talking about everyone's favourite topic… it's time to address that little thing called Covid-19. You know that wee pandemic thing we had a few years ago. Well it's time to throw a bit of shade to our old friend Rona and its timing over the course of my degree.

It’s safe to say that being locked up inside my room, chained to my computer, writing endless essays led me to develop some pretty undesirable thoughts and habits. But I know I'm not alone. We all struggled. Lock down was a bitch. And for me this is where it all started to unfold.

2021. Melbournians were still locked in. I was coming to the end of my degree and frankly had no idea what to do next. But during this pandemic, there were a few things that spread as quickly as the Delta variant. 

The online fitness, Pilates and health industry. 

You say jump and I said how high. 

Prior to lockdown, I had dabbled in the intriguing practice of reformer Pilates and started attending my local yoga and Pilates studio. I noticed how exercising daily and moving my body in a way that aligned with rhythm and music, in a positive and upbeat environment, felt good. I noticed that I had a desire to be a little ‘cleaner’ and ‘healthier’ in my food choices in order to enhance the physical benefits of such a movement. And it works. Science does not lie folks. You really can change the way you look. But how much control you have over that walks a fine line. For me, exercise and diet was my only form of control in a world that was continually changing and crumbling around me every single day.  

I became the 16/8 faster. The hours in the supermarket label reader. The ‘Move’ goal achiever. 

I developed rules;

• No eating past 8pm. Carbs are a big no no. 

• Nothing but water. Alternative milk over full fat. 

• Exercise did not count if I didn't sweat. 

  And honestly there are many, many, more. 

* I should also preface that on one of my final expeditions before Rona swept into our households and face masks, I had developed a significant intolerance to gluten. All bread, flour, any wheat was enough to make me physically curl into a ball, immobilised until it made its way out. I know - yuck - but let's try to normalise a little bit of classy poo chat. So naturally I started to change my diet. (you'll be pleased to know that I eventually recovered from this devastating intolerance and began to rediscover the beauty of all things almond croissants and Tim Tams)*

Sooner or later we were let out of our four walls. The real world reopened and we pressed play on life again. But food would still feel like a giant elephant in the room. Overwhelmed with rules and restrictions. 

Eventually, after many hours of online classes and scrolling through low calorie Instagram recipes, I became a qualified Pilates instructor. I moved to the city. Worked for a fancy and booming studio and met some amazing people. I felt like ‘mini me’ up there teaching with my headset microphone and jamming to funky beats. It was fun! My family and friends were so supportive. Coming to my classes, praising me for my hard work and dedication. I was fit as f*ck. Physically at least. Abs for days. To everyone else, I was living the lifestyle of a big city Pilates instructor posing in the mirror. And I guess I was. I'll be the first to admit that I like to use Instagram. But the truth is, you never really know what's happening behind the lens. 

And the story continues… 

*big sigh*

Yeah, I know tell me about it… 

I had caught the travel bug well before covid. So, when we were finally allowed to venture into international waters and sniff aeroplane food, it was time to get the hell out of here. But it felt a little different now. More pressure and expectation: 

• The perfect bikini body. 

• The ‘all or nothing’, ‘I’ll make up for it when I'm home’ mentality. 

• It was my week to ‘allow’ a sleep in or carbs more than once a day. 

• I was allowed the sugary cocktail and to eat past 8pm because… “we're on holiday”. 

Routine was about to fall off the edge and swept into the ocean to maybe be brought back by the tide in a weeks time. 

The truth is, having no control over meal times, where you're eating, how it's prepared or knowing you probably won't be able to exercise it off - that shit is scary for someone who is drowning in the whitewash of mental rules and expectations. But you know it's okay because I would just have to get back into routine and work harder and be better when I'm home. 

No. 

It doesn't have to be like that. 

Everyday can be a holiday (HURRAY) and your life is more than rules and rituals. 

I know that now.

BON VOYAGE 

Someone very special once said to me;

“people will remember you for the person you are, not for what you look like”

This was huge. 

This changed the game.

And to tell you the truth, it has gotten me out of a lot of mental Muay Thai. 

There is so much more to life (and this world) than if I didn't wait 16 hours to eat.

So much more to life than if my thighs are touching. 

So much more to life than punishing myself the morning after eating pizza. 

We are so much more. 

I just needed to find it.

FEEL GOOD MOVEMENT

I started to realise after a few weeks of disjointed sleep, long and compact bus rides, days by the beach and a few too many Changs… that I needed movement to make me feel good. I craved that natural dose of dopamine (DOP) that made me perk up and feel fresh, see clearer and be happier. It became less about wanting to maintain a certain shape, burn off the empty calories or punish myself for the night before and more about what kind of version of myself I wanted to present to the people around me. Who I wanted to be as a human. 

I needed to rediscover what felt good. What made me a better version of me? What made me sparkle? 

I am fortunate enough to be in the most unique and diverse locations of the world. A cultural combustion of colours and culinaries. I am here because I love to travel. I want to see, explore and experience. I want to learn and share. So I need to go and do it.

Travel is movement. Moving from one destination to the next. 

I am constantly moving. I am physically moving my body in 10,000 different ways every single day. From logging my (exceptionally overpacked) backpack on and off a bus, walking in 30 degree humidity, up and down a hostel stairwell. To explore my new surroundings and gather my bearings by walking local streets, perusing the markets and heading down to the beach. Then back with a recharged social battery to mingle at the hostel and watch the night turn to day by sweating out my entire body weight at the club. Backpacking is no joke.  

It's safe to say I was moving. 

But as the speed of my geographical movement started to slow down. I still needed my DOP. It was addictive. That’s when I started to realise I had fallen back in love with the things I used to call routine. The things I used to fight. 

For me, the best way to see my new surroundings, capture pictures and understand the people, was to walk. Walk and walk and walk. Up and down, in and out and all around. Forget the time, forget the pace, and forget the calories. Just walk. Walking became my chance to get up and move my body. Kick start my DOP and move in a way that makes me feel good. I could physically move from once sight, cafe, monument or restaurant to indulge in local delicacies, learn about the history and meet smiling faces. Although I would work up a bloody good sweat and acquire some interesting tan lines, my daily exploration to find the best iced coconut coffee or wacky local street art were my best days. 

And for those who haven't been a dirty backpacker, we all know that travelling is hard on the body. Long flights, dreaded jetlag, uncomfortable beds, sleepless nights, raging bellies, and violent hangovers is just the beginning. And for me, the added craziness of being crammed into a bus of at least 25 people, 30 cargo boxes of god knows what and the occasional dozen of chickens on a weekly (sometimes daily) basis - it’s no wonder my body craved more.

Movement had to come back to the basics. 

Sometimes the sun was too much, sometimes it wasn't safe to walk the streets and sometimes I just couldn't be arsed getting changed. So I rediscovered my old friend… Pilates. Having trained as an instructor and growing up in and out of dance studios. My body likes to bend; it likes to flow; it likes to move and it likes to groove. A good 30 minute power stretch in a quiet corner of the hostel room or a wide open park gives me the pep of DOP to feel like me again. 

I am fortunate enough to be practised and comfortable in taking myself through a power flow or pump session in the comfort of my own company, and I know that the majority of people wouldn't know where to begin. 

And so a new concept unfolded…

AN INVITATION TO YOU!

From dancing on the furniture, to pumping iron in the gym, to a soothing dip in the ocean. It's time to embrace the liberating truth that movement just has to feel good. 

I'm striving to create a digital diary that keeps you moving and grooving from anywhere in the world. From exploring high-tech gyms, boutique pilates studios, feel good flows or destination explorations, Loéve Journals is your global guide to movement, made good, made global. 

Whether you're a seasoned traveller, gym junkie or just keep telling yourself how you ‘really must stretch more’, I call on men and women around the world to discover their daily dose of dopamine from anywhere in the world. 

What makes you puff your chest out a little more or give you that little extra skip in your step. What makes you feel a little taller? What makes you sing a little louder?

Together, we can turn any holiday escape, global adventure or daily routine into a feel good experience. 

Let’s Get Groovin’!